In the Dark
by Ashari
Summary: In the dark, Vash couldn’t see much, but he could hear plenty. Her breathing was steady now, rhythmic and deep as only the breaths of sleep are. [Oneshot]


Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun, Vash, or Meryl. That honor goes to Yasuhiro Nightow, for which I envy him imensely.

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At night was the best time. 

At night–after the twin suns had set over the barren world on which he lived, after they had finished painting their twice-daily picture of magnificence over the dusty horizon.At night–when a restless silence prevailed over the restless town, when the world seemed less burdened by human cares for the simple fact that the humans were, at that time, escaping from them.

At night, Vash would think.

It was a time when he could mull things over without interruption, when he could display the pain of over a century of existence on his face without worrying anyone. Without worrying anyone, for no one was awake to see.

Tonight, though, was different. So much had occurred over the recent weeks, so much more to add to the weight that settled so heavily on his chest, the weight that threatened to suffocate him. One Gung-ho Gun after another had perished, and even though they had been sent to kill him, he hadn't been able to preserve their lives. It tore at Vash; it twisted inside his being like a serrated knife twisting into his beating heart. And Wolfwood. Wolfwood was gone. Wolfwood...

Vash sprang from where he lay sprawled on his bed. He threw on a shirt to go with his pajama pants, and without further ado, padded silently out of his room and into the hall.

He was given pause, however, by the soft sound that emanated from the slightly ajar door in the middle of the hall. He stuck his spiky head in the doorway, his curiosity temporarily breeching his brooding. And there came the sound again.

It was Meryl. The curtains were closed, allowing little to no light from the moons into the room, but even through the inky darkness Vash knew it was her. He could see that she didn't rest peacefully, that her sheets were twisted around her and that she was nearly curled into a fetal position. Her raven locks were frizzed and splayed upon the pillow, and her fair face was screwed up in a taunt expression of fear. The soft noise wafted over to Vash again, the sound of Meryl crying out in her sleep.

He had been meaning to go outside, to loose himself in the twinkling brilliance of the stars, but something about the look on her face and the way she trembled ever so slightly caused Vash to crack the door wide enough for him to silently slip in. A chair was stationed near to the door, so he plucked it from its former home and placed it by the beside.

For a moment, as he sat there staring at her, Vash wondered what he was doing. He shouldn't be in here; something was compromising about this situation. What if she were to wake and find him hovering over her? Then she'd probably explode at him about invading her privacy, which she had every right to do. He sighed, then shifted, about to stand and leave, but froze.

"V...Va...sh..."

His blue-green orbs widened significantly. He was busted! His cheeks rapidly flushed. This was so embarrassing...how was he going to talk his way out of this one?

"Vash," Meryl sighed.

He deflated when he realized that she was still asleep, but...she was calling his name. His name.

Sadness enveloped his features. She cared about him...cared about him more deeply than she would ever be willing to admit. Vash knew this. He had seen it in her face. But he could never return the feelings, no matter what the circumstances.

Pain wrapped around Vash's eyes. He could never let anyone get close to him. Everything and everyone he touched ended up getting destroyed. Decade after decade had passed, and the same still held true. He could never get too close to anyone, especially when...especially not her.

Vash looked up to see that Meryl's small form was beginning to relax. She no longer trembled, and she was uncurling herself slightly. The pained look had begun to ebb from her features, and her breathing became easier.

In the dark, Vash couldn't see much, but he could hear plenty. Her breathing was steady now, rhythmic and deep as only the breaths of sleep are. Vash listened to her breathe, listened to the steady rise and fall of her chest, listened to the air pass between her lips. It was a sound that made his muscles start to relax, that made him sink into the chair, that made his eyelids droop ever so slightly.

It seemed that his presence had calmed the storm that raged in her dreams. It was certain that her presence had eased the pain that burned in his heart.

But realizing this only made the pain come back tenfold. Vash grimaced and inhaled sharply, then fought to regain control of himself. He could never be close to her. The closer he got to someone, the quicker they died. And even if by some miracle he managed to keep her safe from harm despite all the hell that trailed him like a shadow, he still couldn't be with her. If they stayed together, he would have to watch her grow old and die while he went on looking the same way he had for over a hundred years.

Despite it all, though, Vash stayed rooted to the chair instead of journeying outside to brood.

He stayed, and listened to Meryl's peaceful breathing in the dark.


End file.
